Ann-S-Thesia's Test Results

I don't know why I've become fascinated by these things lately. It all started with the Archie McPhee Nerd Test where I scored 34% (between Steve Jobs and Marilyn Monroe...yippee! Just where I'd love to be...um...statistically speaking that is...but Stevie...when you were young, you were hot!)

Then there was The Spark's plethora of tests. I initially scored a 29% on the Bitch Test. Fearing I underestimated my bitchitude, I took it again to be sure and surprisingly scored even lower (i.e., less bitchy), 21%. Some of their other tests were a bit absurd. I'm 66% Pure according to their Purity Test. And according to the Death Test, I am scheduled to die December 13, 2038 at 77 years old, younger than either of my grandmothers at their age of death. Must be because I have a stressful desk job. And this is what The Spark told me after I took the Wealth Test:

"Congratulations! Based on inflation, taxes, the anticipated world economy, melting icecaps, free love, the global yeast war of 2017, the Canadian depression of 2021, and your personal financial outlook, you can expect to be worth one million dollars at... 51 years old! And your fortune will be made in the following ways:
$104,000 begging in the streets.
$102,000 through insider trading.
$100,000 being a star.
$150,000 through lucrative nerd-ism, like Bill Gates.
$148,000 criminal mischief.
$304,000 working 9 to 5.
$92,000 keeping the money that people drop, jerk."

Uh huh. It gets more absurd. Here's my results of The Spark's Pregnancy Test:
"According to our analysis, you are not currently pregnant. During your life, you'll have:
3 children.
Here are some stats about your next one:
Sex: male
Birth weight: 12 lbs. 2 oz.
Length at birth: 7 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 4%
Most likely defect: spina-bifida"

You don't know me too well, do you Sparky? I only scored 11% on the Ass test. Someone explain the point of that test? And in their "Unintelligent" test I scored 43%...According to the Spark: "Interesting. While the subject shows a very high level of intelligence, her sense of observation is somewhat below average. We attribute this to the egotistical nature of the subject. Actually, rats behave in the same manner, but she's smarter than any animal.

"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.

"Finally, the subject displayed a poor (and a little bit boring) sense of humor, a decent and respectable sense of morality, and a hot shot self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."
Final Score: 43% Un-telligent.

Poor Observation? Well, I guess they didn't know I scored 143 on my IQ Test, with the breakdown as follows:
Pattern Recognition: 93/100
Classifiation (Odd One Out): 66/100
Analogies: 90/100
Arithmetic: 66/100
Logical Reasoning: 100/100
General Knowledge: 88/100
According to QueenDom.Com"Scores of 130 and above mean that according to this test, you are absolutely brilliant. " Well, I was a bit surprised it came out that high, actually. I was thinking it would be around 110 or so.

Another Test site is The Armory which offers more "Purity Tests" than you could ever take in a day. I only took a few, and the results are as follows:

Geek Test: "You answered "yes" to 12 of 129 questions, making you 90.7% geek pure (9.3% geek corrupt); that is, you are 90.7% pure in the geek domain (you have 9.3% geek in you). Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 20%, based on a comparison of your test results with 28706 other submissions for this test. The average purity for this test is 79.4%.

Mental Purity: "You answered "yes" to 41 of 260 questions, making you 84.2% [mental] pure (15.8% [mental] corrupt). "

Web Designing Purity: "You answered "yes" to 42 of 120 questions, making you 65.0% Web Designing pure (35.0% Web Designing corrupt); that is, you are 65.0% pure in the Web Designing domain (your strangeness is 35.0%). " Hey, what can I say...I really really don't get off on coding, OK? They didn't ask about the art stuff.

Niceness Test: "You answered "yes" to 14 of 100 questions, with a total value of 25 points out of 215, making you 88.4% nicely pure (11.6% nicely corrupt); that is, you are 88.4% pure in the niceness domain (your meanness is 11.6%). "

That's all the tests I've taken so far.

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